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Sunday, September 17, 2006

This sucks

I just spent the last few months, thinking about these next few months. I am prepared, and I know what I am going to do, but now I regret how I spent these last few months with my husband by my side. He was home, everyday for nearly 2 months. We were team parents, and we enjoyed being together, but now as I dropped him off, I realized that I wished I would have spent more time mentally in the moments. I spend way to much time thinking, planning and preparing, when I could have spent the time simply enjoying being with him. Now I won't see him very often for a few months, and our talking time will be limited. He is my best friend, and I take him for granted.
I am starting to realize more and more that life comes at you in chuncks of time. Some are longer than others, some are really short. Nothing stays the same for very long, good or bad. A man named Randy Elrod came and spoke at a bible study I was attending a year ago about the topic of "moments", and how he had learned to grasp that concept with his own family, and how important it was. He wrote a book, or is in the process of writing a book about that, which I will definitley pick up.
As I drove home tonight, I was searching for the perfect song to cry to. I was looking through my husbands favorites, when I realized that my baby son was singing in the back seat, and that was enough. It was enough to cry to, enough to fill my heart with joy. It was enough to be the perfectly innocent, melancholy soundtrack for the drive home.

2 Comments:

Blogger Brody Harper said...

I miss you guys too. I will see you soon. Kiss those boys for me.

10:15 AM

 
Blogger urban mama said...

I will be praying for you. You are so strong, I don't know how you do it.

3:01 PM

 

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