Saturday, January 13, 2007

Its a Big world

My life up to this point has had a lot of ups and downs. I'm greatfull for this season of peacefullness and have seen it as a breather. I don't read the newspaper, or watch the news, I don't want to know the bad that is going on out there, because I am clinging onto this season of life, as if it would disapear if I aknowledge the things that are happening out there. Every once in awhile however, I can't look away from the sadness and despair of this world. Every once in awhile God puts someone in my path who is hurting, who is In need, whose life is in the valley, and I can't change the channel or turn the page. It's right there, and my heart breaks for them. I pack their burdens upon me, and can not get them off my mind. It makes the world suddenly seem larger. It makes me feel that I should have, and should do more.
The thing I am wondering is, did God allow me to have hard times so I can relate, and have empathy? Did God allow them to be in my life now, because I don't have my own burdens to block my view? It makes me realize that maybe during these times in my life that are peaceful, instead of shutting out the world in order to hopefully pro long the peacefullness, I should see it as a time that I am available to the others that are in need, and in their valleys. That maybe I should realize that my life isn't all about me.
I was explaining to my son about why we send money to a little boy in Uganda (through Compassion International) after he said, "we can't send him the money, we need it." I realized through him, that without a larger veiw of the world and its state, we'd never notice the various needs of the world around us, and therefore never help. After I showed him the picture of the little boy, and after we talked awhile for the second time, he brought me 28 cents for Kassatu James, and the funny thing is that 28 cents to Kassatu James is a lot.
It's interesting how even though the initial human response is selfishness, that once your eyes are opened wider to the situation at hand, that you are willing to give, to help, to care. I used to toss aside the magazine I'd get from Compassion and not read it's contents, telling myself I didn't have the "time." Even though at some point during the same day I'd read a magazine about how to apply makeup or decorate my house. Yesturday I read the magazine. Yesturday I cried for these people, and have not been able to get them off of my mind. It opened my eyes to the children who look forward to digging through trash in hopes of finding something they need or want. It opened my eyes to the woman who washes clothes to earn a dollar a week to take care of her two babies. It opened my eyes to their needs and I can't look away. It makes me want to do more.
I've realized that trying to protect myself and my life by not opening my eyes to the needs God puts around me, is a selfish way to live. I tell myself that what I have to offer is not enough but what I've realized that even a little bit in the hands of God is a lot. A willing heart, a small prayer, or even .28 cents, can change the state of people's lives. Jesus multiplied the loaf and fish from that one little boy to feed thousands of people, He can multiply what I have to give as well.



Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:13 AM


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