Saturday, February 17, 2007


What do we want for our children? I think most parents answer would be ,"a successful life." Ideally we want our kids to be successful at everything they do. Success in their relationships, school, carrers, hobbies etc. I am beginning to think, however, that although parents desire for their kids to be successful at all things, they tend to focus in on one thing. By one thing I mean, either, relationships, school, carrer, sports, or whatever they seem to deem "most important."
For awhile I have felt really strongly about helping my boys to become really really good at whatever they were interested in, so that they would have some focus to their life. I've wanted them to know "what they want to be when they grow up," and to really go for it.
Little by little I have been given glimpses of people that have really worked hard all their lives, to build up their carrers, to make a lot of money, and they had put so much focus on that, that it took priority over their family, and friends. It all fell apart, and the money isn't so important anymore, the medals, the honors don't mean much when you are all alone.
, I happened to pick up a book recently, and read this:
"Millionaire industrialist John D. Rockefeller once said that he was willing to pay more for this quality than for any other ability under the sun. President Theodore Roosevelt said it was the most important ingredient in the formula of success. That quality is our ability to deal with people- relationships. More than almost anything else in life, relationships make or break us." John C. Maxwell
The bible talks about relationships over and over. Love your neighbor, love your enemies, forgive, treat others how you want to be treated....
I'm beginning to think that although encouraging my boys to work hard, and be good at what they do, that that should not be the focus of my parenting. I should not be pushing them to be good at things, but more to love others. They need to learn to share, to give, to help, to genuinely care. Because in the end, the success in relationships is what matters more in life.
"It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe with one exception, is composed of others." J. A. Holmes


Anonymous Anonymous said...

"When your life's ambition is to leave a legacy, you leave a legacy of ambition."

- Rich Mullins.

2:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

....and their grandmother says,
"Bravo and Amen". Thank you for marrying
Brody. Dad and I could never have even dreamed of anyone better. God answered prayer. We prayed for you when he was 3, and look what He did.

Much love, Mom

4:05 PM

Blogger The Booters said...

I am living with a family right now that goal is make the children succeed. They are constantly being pushed and it is rare that I hear a loving conversation between the parent and the children. Their relationship is based on fear not love and respect. So yes, focus on loving your children and teach them to love as Christ loved.

6:16 PM

Blogger kddub said...

Brody~ That's an awesome quote, I am glad you are a good father.

Mom W.... thank you for praying for me before you even new me! It inspires me to do that for our boys too.

Booters~ It's interesting to hear what being pushed looks like from an outside perspective. I think to the child itself, they must just feel not good enough, regardless of what it is they are being pushed to do.

6:53 AM

Blogger Larissa said...

it reminds me of something i heard recently... kinda lame, but still funny- 'it's healthier to eat chocolate with a friend than broccoli alone.' i've tried to live that (at least eating the chocolate part. ha!) so very true. relationships are the core of who we are and what we are. i liked reading this and totally agree with you.

12:38 PM

Blogger kddub said...

I like that quote! I don't like broccoli anyways, bring on the friends and chocolate!

8:54 PM


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