Saturday, March 24, 2007

Were you talking to me?

I had a rough day yesturday with my oldest. He's had a hard time listening, and yesturday that defiance nearly got him hit by a car. I struggled with him all day, and went to bed feeling defeated. I woke up early this morning, and prayed and prayed and prayed for the day. I realized how important it is for me as a mom, to keep the bigger picture in mind. Without that, what is the point? Without keeping the bigger picture in mind, the tv becomes the babysitter and relief for a few minutes. Without the bigger picture I feel swallowed by the day.
I love that show super nanny, because she's always so calm and collected and in control of the situation, (either that or the show is well edited) and I have been asking myself, "what would the super nanny do in this situation?" I even felt at one point in the day that I should speak in a british accent to my son to get him to listen to me.
My son is a unique and wonderful child. I love his personality, and he can make me laugh harder than anyone else. I love his strong will, yet it is what I struggle with the most.
What ways do you encourage listening in your kids? (or Boots, being teachers and all, any suggestions?)


Blogger The Booters said...

As a sub, they either have the respect to listen or they don't. Unfortunately, there is not much that i can do. But my nephew (ethan, 3 years) i fear is the same way. He does not listen to anything. The only way i have found to get him to behave (mildly at least) is to grab him, get down on his level face to face, and repeat the instructions until i get a response that lets me know he understands. Then if he goes against my "rule" he is put in time-out immediately, the first time, no warnings. That usually works for about 15 min until he finds something else. it is a long and never ending battle, but when they behave it is great.

2:48 PM

Blogger kddub said...

Getting down on their level is a big deal it seems to help a lot. How long do you do timeouts with your nephew? I usually do minutes per how old they are!
Thanks for the advice this weekend was really hard, but things got better this evening.

10:25 PM

Blogger Grace said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:05 PM

Blogger Grace said...

What seems to help my children the most are patience and consistency. I'm working with my 2 1/2 year old right now. I’m staying calm and using time-out. I give lots of praise throughout the day, which actually gets him to "want" to please mommy... most of the time. There are definitely days when he's just going to have a bad day...those are the hardest for me, but it passes and next day we are back on track. Being consistent with boundaries and what is acceptable are the key for me, too. We ask if they want BIG kid privileges, and the answer is always, YES…so they do their best to behave. Also, I have a Reward chart I made for them. (I’ll post it on my blog for you.) It’s pretty simple since they are young. They really enjoy getting rewards for their good behavior. I’m not perfect all the time at following thru with being consistent, but I’ve realized that if I make sure I do life is easier around here.

Sorry so long...hope this helps a little. You sound like a wonderful mother...I hope this week is easier for you!

1:07 PM

Blogger The Booters said...

ya about a minute per age seems about right, although that is doing what they are supposed to be doing in time out for that time.

3:53 PM

Blogger Lisa H said...

I don't know if this will relate to you or not, but I'll share from my life.

My oldest is almost four, and he is very strong willed. I've noticed a real correlation between how much tv he watches and how well he listens. When he does watch tv, it is only one or two half hour shows (I'm particular about which ones, also), but I notice he is more whiny and demanding, and he has much more trouble listening to my instructions later on in the day. When he doesn't watch ANY tv, we don't have near as much trouble with him. He pays attention to what we say and obeys much more quickly. This isn't to say that tv is bad, or that we don't ever let him watch, but my point is just that with my son it does tend to have a very negative affect on his attitude.

Hope you don't mind me dropping by, I'm not even sure how I found your blog, but when I read this post, I was reminded of the previous two days with my older son!

8:42 PM

Blogger kddub said...

Grace~ I agree, consistency is huge. It helps so much.
Lisa H~Welcome! I have seen you on Grace's blog. As far as t.v. related to listening, that is very interesting. We are very picky about what we allow him to watch. We have basic cable so the only cartoons he watches are usually educational. I allow him 1 hour tops, a movie is a special treat. I have noticed differences with attitude, I'll have to pay more attention to the listening with no tv. thanks for coming by!

2:35 PM


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